Preseason Power Rankings

Because I know you’d all miss me if I weren’t here, I give to you my thoughts on each team’s Best Pick, Bust Pick and of course, the post-draft Power Rankings.


1. WOLFPACK (Best: Ray Rice ; Bust: Chad Ochocinco) – You guys ready to let the dogs out? The one-man WOLFPACK starts out the year at number one. Ray Rice? AWESOME! Tony Romo? AWESOME! DeSean Jackson? AWESOME! Lions rookie RB with questionable injury history? DOUBLE RAINBOW AWESOME!! Martinez is taking no prisoners or trade offers in 2010. I predict a 16-0 season and Fantasy Championship for our namesake.

2. Favre’s Flip Flops (Best: Andre Johnson ; Bust: Joseph Addai) – As a perennial cellar dweller, Henning came out swinging with an excellent draft. Andre Johnson anchored a title team last year and very well could again. Joseph Addai’s value mostly came from visiting the end zone last year, if he can repeat that, the FFF will be in great shape.

3. Los Peros Grandes (Best: Greg Jennings ; Bust: Marion Barber) – The elder Butryn is out to prove he can bounce back from the Donovan McNabb era. With Tom Brady two years removed from knee surgery, I expect him to pick up the pace from a solid 2009. Greg Jennings as the top target on a high powered Green Bay team should also see strong improvement from a pedestrian 2009.

4. Tom Izzos Fball Camp (Best: Chris Johnson ; Bust: Hines Ward) – Chris Johnson and Chris Johnson Lite (Jamaal Charles) nearly won me the league last year, so I’m a believer. Jermichael over Gates was ballsy, but I think it’ll pay off; he’s been a monster in the preseason. If Hines Ward isn’t dead yet, this could again be a team on the rise. But if memory serves, Teams That Play Jablonski tend to bring their “A” game.

5. $2 Six Inch (Best: Dallas Clark ; Bust: Brandon Marshall) – His name suggests he’s only going to be half as good this year, and without Drew Brees, he might be. Admittedly, this ranking is based a bit on a good track record of general managing. The solid, but unspectacular lineup headed All Day may hinge on McNabb’s relocation if TVD wishes to stay in the top half of the ranks.

6. Curtis Enis Revival (Best: Shonn Greene ; Bust: Brett Favre) – I liked the Greene/Mendenhall pairing to start out the new keeper league. I can’t say the same for Brett Favre. Another Old Face/New Place with Anquan Boldin headed to Baltimore and out of Larry Fitzgerald’s shadow. Fingers crossed Golden Tate can make Matt HasselQuarterback look as good as he made Jimmy Clausen last year.

7. Grenade (Best: Aaron Rodgers ; Bust: Larry Fitzgerald) – The 2009 Champion didn’t exactly draft for a keeper league, but he’s got some good talent. Aaron Rodgers is preseason MVP and Ced Benson’s contract drive could have him topping his stellar 2009 numbers. If Anderson/Lienart can carve up defenses like they did against the vaunted average terrible Bears defense, Fitzgerald should be just fine.

8. Knight Trimark (Best: Drew Brees ; Bust: Beanie Wells) – Drew Brees’ ascent to the top of the QB ranks led The Big Easy to the Super Bowl in 2009. Will the Madden curse derail the Saints and the Commish at the same time? Doubt it. Tim Hightower might eat into Beanie’s touches just enough to drop him from potential RB1 status.

9. Prone Cobras (Best: Ryan Grant ; Bust: Ryan Mathews) – Zat Daddy sure is banking a lot on a rookie runner and an O-Line missing its starting tackle. Mathews will be good, but 7th overall good? That’s asking a lot. Good youth here in a pair a high upside second year receivers. I wonder if Eli will be able throw better in the wind at New Meadowlands than he did at the dearly departed Old Meadowlands.

10. Whoopass (Best: Michael Turner ; Bust: Steven Jackson) – Newest member to league gets a rude welcome with a low entry into the ranks. Appears to be some solid parts here in the starting lineup, but old vets Housh, Roy Williams, and Laurence Maroney might need some little blue pills to get in the action.

11. The IFF (Best: Miles Austin ; Bust: Felix Jones) – After running through the league in 2009 with a dominant ground game, wild changes are in store for the coming season. The WR/WR strategy backfired in 2008, and it very well could again. Here’s hoping the Kardashian Connection can deliver Miles Austin some fantasy glory. Right now, The IFF feels like an appropriate moniker.

12. Van Jones (Best: Arian Foster ; Bust: Jay Cutler) – Arguably the worst drafter in the league, Mulhern had better hope for another hot start out of the gate if he wants to maintain his status of Best Overall Record. To be fair, whoever picked Cutler was getting ranked last. The Bears have looked God-awful in the preseason and its hard to trust Cutler to lead any team, fantasy or otherwise, to any kind of a playoff appearance.

Alcohol Content

"Hey George, what's the alcohol content in this one?"

-"What does this one smell like?"
-"It smells like whatever you want it to smell like."

Pre Draft Predictions brought to you by Winestyles of Bolingbrook

Some quick pre draft predictions for you courtesy of the Professor:

-Mulhern will strategically draft a team that peaks by week 6.
-The Joseph will have at least one Bear on his team that is 2nd string on the Bears' depth chart.
-The Big Dog will continue to communicate in solamente espanol.
-Szatko will have a team that finishes with a winning record, but gets zero respect in the Power Rankings.
-Ian and The Rooster will play each other for the 1,000 time in the playoffs.
-Bobo will be public enemy number one because some of the general managers will catch feelings over his Power Rankings.
-Someone will be eliminated from Survivor when they take the Bears over the Lions in Week 1.

-My not so bold prediction: The Joseph will make a trade by Week 3.
-My bold prediction: One of the cellar dwellers (Henning or Ronnie Brown) will make the playoffs.


DO YOU NEED HELP WITH YOUR 6 for 60???!??!?!?

Our League Has a Blog Now...

... And is therefore super-legit.

I've sent you all invites so that anyone can post. We'll use this space to post weekly power rankings, random trash talk (particularly of the Mulhern vs. Martinez variety) and other miscellany. I'll work on integrating some historical results into the page, and perhaps some of Van Dorn's handywork from his biannual preview.

The draft is only a week away, gents!