Week 10 Power Rankings

A dominant Michael Vick has vaulted a new team to the top of the rankings.

1. WOLFPACK (6-2-2; prev: 3) – If I had told you three things in August, 1. Mike Vick would be the frontrunner for MVP, 2. Mike Martinez would not only make the playoffs, but be a legit contender to take it home, and 3. Mike Singletary pulled his pants down again to inspire is floundering 49ers, which one would you have thought was the lie?

2. Optimo 55 Souf (8-1-1; prev: 1) – Strong bid for the unbeaten season falls short after an impressive run. The regular season title is within in reach with only a few games to play.

3. Tom Izzos Fball Camp (6-4-0; prev: 5) – Scores the takedown over the last remaining unbeaten as nobody pop’s champagne since we’ve never had an undefeated team.

4. Whoopass (6-4-0; prev: 4) – Probably regretting the decision of dropping Aaron Hernandez’s backup, aka Rob Gronkowski of the Amherst Gronkowski’s, for G-Reg and his 3^rd leg.

5. $2 Six Inch (6-4-0; prev: 2) – Are we sure this isn’t really Mulhern’s team? Currently in the midst of a 3 game losing streak with no relief in sight (Whoopass, Optimo, Izzo). A Bush-like 6-1 to 6-7 finish could be on the way.

6. Grenade (5-5-0; prev: 6) – Holding steady at 6 after holding on to victory despite a charging Prone Cobra. The guesswork with this group of continued underachievers will drive a manager mad. The last minute plug and play of the Chiefs defense was a move that nearly cost him a win.

7. Favre’s Flip Flops (3-5-2; prev: 7) – Can’t even catch a break as even the league’s doormat ties his highest point output of the year. Continues to be held back by the league’s toughest schedule.

8. Knight Trimark (4-6-0; prev: 9) – Right in the thick of the chase for the 8^th and final playoff spot. Favorable schedule down the stretch (Cobras, Grandes, Revival) could pave the way toward a return to the playoffs for the Ole’ Commish.

9. Los Peros Grandes (5-5-0; prev: 11) – The worst .500 team since his Week 8 edition. LPG has done just enough to win averaging just 81.2 points in his 5 wins this season.

10. The IFF (3-7-0; prev: 12) – An electric performance keeps the hope alive, if only for one more week. Probably needs to win out to sneak in to the playoffs, but at least they’re out of the cellar.

11. Prone Cobras (2-6-2; prev: 8) – Tried like hell, but couldn’t complete the comeback on Monday Night. Another team with no room for error that’s probably looking at the consolation bracket for its postseason action.

12. Curtis Enis Revival (2-7-1; prev: 10) – On the losing end of the Toyota Biggest Loser Matchup between the two losingest teams in league makes for a losing effort deserving of the bottom spot in the rankings.

Week 9 Power Rankings

In which we salute our Week 9 overlord.

1. Optimo 55 Souf (8-0-1; prev: 1)
Week 9’s victory combined with a $2 six inch loss all but sewed up the regular season title (and $440) for Mulberry. Arian Foster in the 4th round was the best pick of the draft, and there really wasn’t a close second. A testament to this team’s depth is that 4 out of 5 bench players scored in double digits. Am I trying to heap as much praise as possible in hopes of some kind of reverse jinx? Yes. Yes I am.

2. $2 six inch (6-3; prev: 2)
While Optimo has been perceived as a clear-cut #1 all season long, TVD is not far behind in total points. And while Optimo has more firepower and a higher ceiling on a week-to-week basis, $2 six inch has been more consistent, with only two weeks under 91 points all season long. Come playoff time, that consistency might help this GM shed his stigma as the Marty Schottenheimer of the league.

Pictured above: Theodore, 40 years hence.

3. WOLFPACK (5-2-2; prev: 8)
Fresh off the highest-scoring week anyone’s had all year, this GM is already getting nervous farts at the prospect of his first playoff appearance since the league’s inaugural, 8-team, Everyone-Gets-Participation-Trophies-And-Makes-The-Playoffs season.

4. Whoopass (6-3; prev: 6)
The decision to drop Aaron Hernandez in order to pick up Aaron Hernandez’s backup remains a head-scratcher. But the W’s keep piling up!

5. Top Izzos Fball Camp (5-4; prev: 4)
With five players on a bye week, was literally forced to mold his lineup together using scotch tape and yarn.

Tom Izzos Fball Camp prepares for its Week 9 matchup with Whoopass.

6. Grenade (4-5; prev: 5)
Going out on a not-very-big limb, but this is the only sub-.500 team I can see winning a playoff game. Lineup just looks so much better after the multitude of trades, and that’s not even taking into account the presence of Danny Amendola, who is just dreamy.

His business card says: "I'll call you."

7. Favre’s Flip Flops (3-4-2; prev: 3)
Had an off-week, but this GM is still destined for his first ever trip to the playoffs barring something ridiculous happening.

Five teams. One playoff spot.

8. Prone Cobras (2-5-2; prev: 9t)
Peyton Hillis and Danny Woodhead led the way in an unexpected annihilation of Favre’s Flip Flops. This is undoubtedly the first ever fantasy victory by a team with two white running backs.

9. Knight Trimark (3-6; prev: 7)
Knight Trimark (team):2010::Knight Trimark (stock):1999

Somewhere, Ryan Michael Mulhern's hard-earned TurtleWax paycheck softly weeps.

10. Curtis Enis Revival (2-6-1; prev: 9t)
Might want to quit this league and join one sponsored by the AARP: Is 2-0 against the league’s “fathers” and 0-6-1 against fellow NCHS Class of ‘02’ers.

Fellow members of Curtis Enis Revival's 2011 fantasy league plot their strategies.

11. Los Peros Grandes (4-5; prev: 11)
The self-proclaimed Bigg Dogg is behaving a bit more catlike these days.

Jeffrey Guy's sensei.

12. The IFF (2-7; prev: 12)
Can’t fault the rationale on the Rodgers trade, but it sure left the cupboard bare. Not in terrible shape from here on out, but probably has the worst odds at grabbing that last playoff spot.

Dwight Schrute opines on The IFF's quixotic playoff quest.

The Swami's Crystal Ball!

Twice the Man-Boobs, Twice the Prognostication Skillzzzz

Week 8 Power Rankings

Before we get started, I wanted to pass along my favorite joke from the Bears bye week…

Chicago lost their second straight home game after Jay Cutler failed to execute Mike Martz’s new offensive gameplan:

1. Optimo 55 Souf (7-0-1; prev: 1) – Not much left to say about the Souf. Every great fantasy season takes a certain amount of things going your way. Arian Foster is this year’s Ray Rice. Roddy White went from top 10 WR, to top 1 WR. Reggie Wayne didn’t have the drop off some expected. LDT looks like he got some rejuvenation from Barry Bonds trainer. Some times things just fall in to place, and it could be that year for Mulhern. Dirty little secret: Mulhern’s had the weakest schedule this season.
   

2. $2 Six Inch (6-2-0; prev: 2) – Definitely the 1b, to Mulhern’s 1a. Arguably has performed better against a tougher schedule (In fact, Mulhern’s record vs Ted’s schedule would be 5-3). Probably getting a little tired of his entrenchment in the 2 hole, a late season rematch with the Bush will give him a chance to supplant him.

3. Favre’s Flip Flops (3-3-2; prev: 6) – Don’t let the record deceive you, Henning puts out a quality effort week in and week out. With strong scores in both points scored and strength of schedule, Favre’s Flip Flops will be a threat come playoff time.
   

4. Tom Izzos Fball Camp (5-3-0; prev: 4) – Solid lineup up and down. The loss of Jermichael Finley has been offset by the gift of Jason Witten from the waiver wire. It’s a blow losing Kenny Britt who looked like a potential star a week ago, to a pulled hamstring that could sideline him well past his upcoming bye week.

5. Grenade (3-5-0; prev: 10) – Winner of the A.1. Bold & Spicy move of the week. Trading away nearly a full roster, including a franchise QB in Aaron Rodgers, takes guts. He’s assembled a Who’s Who of preseason favorites turned regular season underachievers. If the Law of Averages comes around, this Grenade could explode in the second half. (See what I did there?)
   

6. Whoopass (5-3-0; prev: 3) – Abysmal efforts in two of the last three, following a string of 100+ point performances. With Phil Rivers leading the way, this team is as volatile as the San Diego Superchargers.

7. Knight Trimark (3-5-0; prev: 7) – Just mediocre enough to make the playoffs and lose in the first round. Headlined with disappointment in the backfield, Knight is one of many teams hurting from a lack of quality runners in 2010.

8. WOLFPACK (4-2-2; prev: 5) – What do you call a pack of Bengals? Well, this BENGALPACK is banking on the TOcho show. Two straight winless weeks combined with the loss of Romo for the year, you can feel the stress all the way from South Beach. The early season promise is fading fast but the rest of the league is so god awful that I expect him to hold on that final spot in the playoffs.

9. Prone Cobras (1-5-2; prev: 11t) & Curtis Enis Revival (1-6-1; prev: 11t) – These two continue to be deadlocked, albeit at a higher spot on the board, due to their uninspiring tie. Speaking of which, I propose we switch to fractional scoring. There have been 4 games through 8 weeks that have ended in a tie. That’s ridiculous.
   

11. Los Peros Grandes (4-4-0; prev: 9) – Despite the win, a third game scoring 65 or less does not bump one up in the rankings. Statistically, the worst team in the league (lowest point total, 2^nd weakest strength of schedule), but a win over yours truly keeps Los Peros out of the cellar for the week.
    

12. The IFF (2-6-0; prev: 8) – I will take this opportunity to defend the trade I made with Crowell. After seven weeks of watching Randy Moss run half assed go routes and Miles Austin’s QB go down for the year, I didn’t think my team was going to make the playoffs. It just wasn’t very good. I do not believe I am punting the season by having made this deal. I think I’m stronger at QB, slight downgrade at RB and same inconsistent bag at WR. What I did was turn what would’ve been mediocre keepers into a franchise QB, a potential steal for next year in Sidney Rice (14^th round pick) and a rookie with huge upside in CJ Spiller. If you want to fault me for anything its this: Biggest fail of the trade? Being offered LeGarrette Blount as a throw in and declining.